Man, that would be cathartic—but it wouldn’t be fair to Mr. Toothache, and no hospital would ever let you do that, even if it were good for your health.

Tal Ben-Shahar wrote the book “The Pursuit of Perfect.” He makes a very good case that perfectionism is a bad character trait, and that being an “optimalist” is a much better way to look at the world. He also writes about taking time to restore the damage done when we hide our true feelings. Instead of taking it out on the waiting room whiner, it’s better and more socially acceptable to find another outlet for these cumulative minor frustrations.

I write and I like to crack corny or off-color jokes. That works for me because I’m not much of a talker. Most people find it very refreshing to go to the break room and vent for 5 minutes. Others just need to be left alone with their thoughts long enough to recharge before having to put back on the smiley face. Breaks have a purpose. Take one every day.

We work in an imperfect environment. I tell medical students that if they like their ducks in a row all of the time, the ED is not the place for them. Our ducks usually float all over the river and some go over the dam. We, as people and as doctors, are not perfect, either. We have emotions and character issues, just like everyone else. The scripted customer service responses are nice, but the people writing the script need to understand that this goes against our nature.

We have to be taught to suppress our natural emotions. “Big boys don’t cry.” “What are you so upset about?” “Don’t laugh so loud.” In the ED, we see some of the saddest, funniest, and most maddening events—yet we are counseled to suppress the emotions that naturally follow these events. This can’t be good for us.

Cardiovascular death rates in many other countries are lower than in the United States. Theories abound about diet and red wine and genetics. Maybe it has to do with holding in our emotions. Maybe if, as a culture, we laid our emotions out on the table like they do in Italy, we would all live longer.

How many times have you fought back tears? When people make you angry, do you let them know about their behavior, or do you just let it slide? Does your hospital have a policy about laughter at the nurses’ station? I can raise my hand for all three.